Remember that thing we said about it only being up from Week 2? Yeah, that was a lie. The NFL season remained unpredictable in its second week, and our records reflect that.
Charles Curtis did OK for himself, going 7-9. Prince J. Grimes and Blake Schuster went 5-11, and Caroline Darney went 4-12. Let’s hear from the crew on how they’re feeling ahead of Week 3.
Prince: Stick with me. That hot streak is coming.
Charles: That’s right, going 7-9 is a GOOD week to start this weird 2022 season. Let’s keep it going.
Blake: I got nine picks right? Feels like it should be lower. I’m a mess. Fade me.
Caroline: Not last! Alright!
Steelers at Browns (-4.5)
I’m not picking the Steelers because they’re good or anything. I’m just having a hard time seeing Jacoby Brissett and the Browns putting them away by more than a field goal.
A Thursday night game between two mediocre teams means you grab the points and don’t look back.
Mike Tomlin is now 48-27-3 ATS as an underdog after failing to cover in Week 2. I’m riding with the trend again.
If I pick the Browns will that actually mean the Steelers win? I’m one four-yard checkdown on 3rd-and-8 from swearing off of football forever (lol just kidding, I could never).
Ravens at Patriots (+3.5)
One of these teams can score points. The other one can’t.
I feel dumb doing this, but seeing what the Ravens’ defense last week made me very nervous.
I still have faith in Lamar Jackson and the offense, even if the defense melted in Florida.
If the Steelers had a remotely competent offense, the Pats lose last Sunday. I don’t think they have the pieces to execute a thrilling comeback like the Dolphins did. Plus, the Ravens have Lamar Jackson.
Lions at Vikings (-6.5)
The Lions have gone from a team you never wanted to bet on to one of the safest bets out there. They play close games and cover spreads.
Prince nailed it. This is a surprisingly large spread given what we’ve seen from both teams so far.
My head says Lions, which means hammer the Vikings. Also, Minnesota is coming off an embarrassing primetime loss that made it look much worse than it probably is.
I…I really like this Detroit Lions team??
Raiders at Titans (+2.5)
The Raiders haven’t won, but they’ve at least played decent football at times. The Titans aren’t good.
It’s getting rough in Tennessee.
I’d rather see Tennessee just commit to Malik Willis at this point.
What has happened to Tennessee? The Raiders have played well, so I’m honestly surprised the line is just 2.5.
Bills at Dolphins (+5.5)
Miami might not get dismantled in the same way as Buffalo’s other opponents, but I’m not quite ready to say they’re on the Bills level.
I’m not buying Tua as MVP quite yet, and while last week was incredible, he’s not throwing six TDs against this defense.
I’ll be honest. I placed a bet on Bills -5.5 the minute I saw the line. Even on the road I’m not sure how Buffalo isn’t more than a touchdown favorite.
I think this will be a thrilling game, but even though the Dolphins are super fun this year, I’ll never go against my beautiful Buffalo Bills. Allen, Diggs & Co are clicking on a whole other level.
Eagles at Commanders (+6.5)
If Jalen Hurts is going to continue playing the way he did on Monday night, the Eagles don’t have a ceiling.
Philly could put up 40 in this one.
Expecting a Carson Wentz revenge game, in the sense that the Eagles’ defense will get revenge for the Wentz era. Honestly, the Washington QB should be having Darius Slay nightmares already.
The Eagles are good!
Bengals at Jets (+4.5)
If I just pick the Bengals every week, it’ll be right eventually. Right?
The Jets were one Nick Chubb slide down from losing by a lot. Despite the Bengals’ O-line woes, this is a get-right game for Cincy.
I want to pick against Cincy but can’t bring myself to do it. This team is perpetually daring teams to take Joe Burrow out and I hate it.
Uhh, sure? Please just try and keep Burrow upright? Please?
Chiefs at Colts (+6.5)
I’ve seen enough from the Colts. They’ll probably still find a way to win their awful division, but they aren’t ready to hang with a team like the Chiefs — even at home.
Even if Michael Pittman returns, they can’t keep up.
Another line I just don’t understand. Indy has scored 20 points in two weeks and were shutout by the Jags. I’d take the Chiefs all the way up to -13.5 if I had to.
I’m picking a lot of favorites, but none of the dogs are jumping off the page to me. Certainly not in this one.
Texans at Bears (-3.5)
Chicago has looked like the worst team in the NFL at times, and now I’m supposed to feel good about them winning a game that isn’t being played in a swimming pool by more than three points? I’m good.
Houston is feisty and will keep this one close against a bad Bears team.
Time to spoil Lovie Smith’s homecoming, but this one is gonna be ugly.
Sure, why not.
Saints at Panthers (+3.5)
The Saints haven’t won a game by more than three points, and the Panthers haven’t lost by more than three. Add in the division element and Carolina being home, and I could see this finishing closer than it should.
New Orleans’s defense is the X-factor for me here. I think they cover … but this is a game I’m probably not touching in real life.
Maybe I’m dumb for taking a home dog in a division game but Jameis Winston is already pretty beat up and the Panthers have enough talent to get this done.
I think it’s close throughout, but the Saints win by two field goals? Neither team has really impressed. At all.
Jaguars at Chargers (-7.5)
Jacksonville finally looks like a real NFL team and could be a nuisance for the Chargers. I don’t think they win unless Justin Herbert is ruled out, but I’ll roll with Trevor Lawrence to cover a tuddy.
It’s all set up for L.A. here — at home, with the Jags traveling West, and the Chargers defense clamps down for a 10-point win.
I’d feel a lot better about this pick if this game were in Jacksonville, but alas. An injured Herbert has me worried, even with a few extra days of rest.
Flip-flopped a few times, but the Herbert injury gives me pause. I still think the Chargers win, but might be closer than a touchdown.
Packers at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Mike Evans is out, so that basically turns Tampa’s offense into Green Bay’s offense. I’ll roll with the home team. Plus, Leonard Fournette promised me some touchdowns soon.
A tricky one. Which set of mediocre receivers with a legendary QB do I go with? I guess Tommy’s!
A battle of two uninspiring teams with lethargic offenses. This one will come down to which ever running back is handed the ball last.
Charles took the words right out of my mouth. Or fingers, since I’m typing.
Falcons at Seahawks (-2.5)
Geno Smith has been better than some thought he would be. I think he outplays Marcus Mariota, and the Seahawks stay undefeated at home.
Hey, Marcus: If you throw Kyle Pitts the ball occasionally, I might change my mind.
How dare you continue to write obits for Arthur Smith’s club!
I’m going to regret this! Late Koo field goal will be the difference here.
Rams at Cardinals (+3.5)
LA’s offense got it going in Week 2 against Atlanta, just in time for a division meeting with the Cardinals who can be exploited defensively.
I think this spread is a couple of points smaller than it should be. Take advantage and take the favorites.
I’m losing a lot of faith in the Cardinals. Like a “Kliff will be first coach fired this year” level of losing faith.
This will be one of the more fun games of the week. I like the Rams by a touchdown.
49ers at Broncos (+1.5)
In what’s expected to be a close game, I’ll roll with the coach I trust more to make better decisions. And that’s pretty much anyone but Nathaniel Hackett at this point.
How do you bet on an awful coach so far and a QB who looks lost at times?
What if the Broncos brought in Russell Wilson and Nathaniel Hackett just to speed up their tanking over the next four years and continually get top three picks? Did you ever consider that?
I don’t know what is going on with the Broncos, but I want no part of it.
Cowboys at Giants (-2.5)
As a Giants supporter, prime-time games against Dallas make me nervous. Especially with how this Dallas defense looks. But this is a new day! Brian Daboll is pulling all the right strings. Giants win 23-16.
As a fellow Giants fan, I know what I’m going to see here: A patented Giants letdown game. Or … maybe I’m doing this to reverse jinx my favorite team. Either way, too close to call, so I’ll take the points.
Richie James is becoming a thing? Richie James is becoming a thing.
I don’t want Prince to yell at me, so I’m going with Saquon Barkley and the Giants. Dallas looked better than I expected last week, but sure, let’s take New York.